In the past few years (or okay maybe in my entire life...) I've never been a particularly patient patient. I don't like being sick, I rail against its cruel injustice and whine and moan about the littlest of sniffly noses. I know - no one likes being sick. I just think I'm kind of a baby about it...
And while I'm certainly not sick right now, I am definitely down for the count more often than not these days. And my tummy is doing very bizarre things, so food is a very strange odyssey at the moment (case in point: dinner two nights ago was garlic & olive oil pasta from a box and some grapefruit... though I did add spinach to the pasta, so there was a modicum of health in the meal.)
But here's the weird thing - I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of this experience. The complete and utter exhaustion (I just slept for 10 hours and I'm yawning...), the weird food cravings (and aversions, currently just sesame oil) and the funky tummy. I'm exceedingly grateful that I'm not throwing up, but every rumble just means hormones are doing what they are supposed to do.
I'm also learning to let things be - our house could use a thorough cleaning and has been in that state for a few weeks... I just don't have the energy to freak out about it. We'll get to it. It's not unlivable. It just is what it is. And that's just fine.
Just. Wow.
I'm now officially 7 weeks pregnant. And I'm still in shock a little, even though we've known for 3 weeks.
The crazy thing is that we weren't "trying" (or, as Brian says, we hadn't made the decision to pull the goalie!) In fact, we were actively NOT trying... (or, uh, to continue the metaphor the goalie was supposed to be in place...) We had a whole plan... I'd do more traveling for the RA thing in the spring, then we'd go to Europe and we'd, well, leave the goalie in America so to speak. In fact, the Saturday before we found out, I'd kind of freaked Ajax out a bit by vocalizing that plan and all that it meant (truth be told, I was saying that if we got pregnant in May or June I'd be pretty far along for our friends wedding, which is a costume wedding over Halloween weekend and I was considering going as a pregnant nun until I remember that Rin's family is pretty Catholic! More on the wedding in a bit...)
So anyway, you know what God does when you make plans...
He gives you a baby 5 months before you expected one!
Or laughs.
Or both.
I knew pretty much immediately when I didn't get my period that I was pregnant. I knew I wasn't "late". I should have gotten my period on a Sunday. Monday I got a pregnancy test. Ajax was home when I got home (I love it when he gets home first!) and I just kind of blurted it out... "I think I'm pregnant... and I have a test kit."
So I went in and peed on a stick. I got a digital read out one - I didn't want there to be any confusion... Ajax and I sat on the edge of our bed and watched the digital readout go from flashing to "pregnant." We stared at it for about half a second and then burst out laughing. We were supposed to go out that night, both to a reading by Ajax's friend Charlie and then to dinner with Brian, Blue and visiting Hippo Andres. We declined all offers... but Brian wouldn't take no for an answer and they appeared on our doorstep. Very hard to have such a big secret and not let them in on it!!!
The next day was the hardest day ever - to have that big secret and NOT. TELL. ANYONE. Agh. I did call Leslie, ostensibly just to say hi, but she could hear "something" in my voice... we had plans that night to go and inauguration ball and she called me three times "what's going on? what's up? your voice sounds different..." :) My sister... she's pretty dang intuitive... We did end up telling Brian at the Ball that night... in return he punched Ajax in the face. Twice. (Was going in for a hug, but missed...)
I went for the blood test on Wednesday and we were thinking we would wait until that was back from the lab to tell everyone... but we couldn't wait, so we started making calls that night. I don't know how people wait until they are 12 weeks... Everyone is, not surprisingly, thrilled for us.
The first couple weeks we knew I felt pretty good. No nausea, not too tired... but at the end of last week - whammo! So far I've managed to not toss my cookies, but my stomach is just... off. I don't know what to eat, don't want veggies at all, which is so weird for me. I want soft, warm and comforting... perogies, mashed potatoes... I'm eating a lot of dairy. I had tuna last night and it was very much NOT GOOD. So dairy it is.
And the exhaustion... man oh man. Yesterday I was in bed all day - didn't really sleep, but just didn't have any energy. And today is more of the same I think.
I already have a bit of a belly too... I gained a little weight after the wedding, but honestly it's all in my tummy... I definitely can't wear my old jeans (though I got a bella band at Target, so hopefully I can again...) If Leslie hadn't given me a pair of her maternity jeans I'd have nothing to wear but yoga pants!!
There's so much more to write, but I have to go back to bed now...
