Baby showers and baby dreams

Yesterday we went to a baby shower for a young woman who I've known since she was 11. She's 18 now and yes, pregnant. And over the moon about it. And her boyfriend, though very quiet, seems like a sweet, kind, good guy. I was Chelsey's nanny for almost 3 years. We went through a lot in those three years and I watched her (helped her) grow up in a lot of ways. And I learned a lot about parenting from her (and, yes, her brother and sister too). I learned boundaries are good. Sticking to them consistently is better. Control for contol's sake is not good. Listening to the words is good. Listening to the intention behind the actions is better. Listening to your heart is best of all.

I'm incredibly proud of Chelsey - of the young woman she's become. I'm nervous as hell for her too. She'll be 19 when her son is born and that is mighty young. But then again, Ben's mom was 19 was he was born. So was Brigette's mom. And Chelsey has the support of her family and of John's family. And she's the stubbornest, most strong-willed kid I ever met, so I have a lot of faith that she'll be okay. Better than okay. She's had enough experiences of good and not-so-good parenting in her young life to recognize what works and what doesn't. And she's determined to break the bad cycles. She's a remarkable young woman.

We also went to Maya's 7th birthday party last night. Time flies so fast... I remember going to a birthday party for Sat Jiwan, who shares Maya's birthday, when Maya was just 1. Even then, as a little baby, Maya had a glow around her. She had charisma. At 1. She still does - crazy funny silly wonderful girl that she is. I miss our playdates, but she's a big girl now, going into 1 st grade... No, 2nd. 1st? I've lost track. It was great to see her all lit up and happy and playing with her friends - two of whom are named Ruby! (Yes, it's getting more popular, but it's still nowhere near the top of the list...)

Last night I dreamt, among other more horrible things I won't dwell on, that I was out for a jog through a quaint mountain village. I felt amazing - strong, athletic, skinny (!), then I remember I was pregnant and shouldn't be running. So I stopped and walked to a coffee shop, where all of a sudden everyone in the coffee shop was exclaiming about my baby who was no longer inside me, but laying on the counter next to me. She was all wrapped up in a million hats and blankets and I started pulling them all off her, because she was too hot. Within seconds she went from being a 4 month old to an 18-month old, wiggly and chatty and adorable. I was happy to have her but perplexed and sad I wasn't pregnant anymore.

Then the dream switched into this weird fantasy like experience where I was in a clawfoot tub on the ocean being pulled by whales... and then in a giant grand bathroom at a posh restaurant. And there was some bad guys I was meant to catch but they were locked in a statue... Then I missed my plane.

Yeah.

Another cool baby dream - I was sitting in a circle of women, mostly friends, some people I didn't know. One of the women I didn't know had a baby and she kept crawling over to me and into my arms - she was Indian, with dark hair and wide black eyes. I was holding her and thinking how sweet she was and Gurmukh said "Hari Parkash, you're going to be such a great mom. You'll do a great job." That was pretty cool.