Yesterday we went for a little walk around the lake, me and my hopefully soon-to-be born daughter. (ooooh, that's so cool to say/write that!)
It's usually a meditative time for me to go walking and this time was no different... the air was cool, a little humid and the sun was just starting to peek out from behind the fog. I was enjoying the wood ducks swimming on the reservoir, grinned like a maniac at a guy I went to college with who I'm sure doesn't remember me and was thinking "wow that really pregnant lady was sure happy to see me!" Just all around a lovely stroll. (I don't go much faster than "stroll" now. In fact, stroll is to spring what waddle is to walk these days).
And then I heard a little voice in my head say "I'm ready Mama."
Ah - my little miss.
"Good," said I, "we're so ready to see you. When are you planning to arrive?"
"It's a surprise," she giggled.
I had to laugh - this one is an imp already.
"Okay, we're ready when you are sweetie."
Pause.
"Mama? How will I know when it's time?"
"Well, I think you'll just know - it's your divine timing. We're here for you, so you need to talk to your spirit guides and see what's the best for you, for your life's journey."
"Okay... when can my sister come? Because she's my best friend and I'm really going to miss her. But she might come as a boy, is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay - we'll love her as a boy or a girl. But let's wait a couple years. But she's always welcome to come and visit us like you have. We love her already and are so excited to have her in our family too. I'll make sure you stay connected to her - don't worry!"
"Okay. Because she's my best friend."
Got it. Excellent... no sibling rivalry in the Valentine house. Nice.
"Mama?"
"Ruby?"
"Can we go to Burning Man? Because it's really fun there."
Now I'm laughing...
"How do you know it's fun there? And yes of course we'll go!"
"I went when I was helping you and Daddy fall in love remember?"
Duh. Silly mommy.
"I miss Daddy. I can't wait to see him."
"Then come on out - he's going to be the first one to hold you and kiss you when you get here!"
"Okay. I'm going to visit Eaglewoman. I'm going to tell her when I'm coming."
"Have fun!"
This morning as I was relaying all of this to Ajax, he started to get a little weepy. I thanked him for not thinking he had a crazy wife and he said "I know it's real because you have faith and that faith is the foundation of our family."
I'm so so blessed.
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Yep, here I am at 4 am again. This time trying to suss out some sense of this dream... first I'm in the yoga center and I realize that I really can't teach the Mommy & Me class. I'm not sure why, but I can't. So I get Sada Simran to do it. Then I go to work behind the front counter and take some iced tea with me. Kali's there and tells me I can't have beverages behind the counter, which pisses me off, but I figure she must know because I haven't been behind the front counter in a while. Marlene starts to tell me that I should really think twice about Sada Simran as a doula and I freak out and tell her it's too late for that and she needs to be more supportive and not tell me negative things.
Then it all switches and I'm watching some bizarre scene from Beauty & the Beast, where some thugs try to steal Belle from the Beast, he saves her, and she immediately swoons and starts talking marriage and kids and the Beast freaks out like "whoa whoa - let's go one step at a time here!"
Then suddenly the Beatles are all alive and back together and are playing a private gig from some insanely rich Middle Eastern/Arabic guy who has a private train that drives right into their hotel come pick them up. They get stinking drunk and almost eat the semi-raw chicken he serves them and are laughing and reminiscing.
And scene.
WTF?
And now I'm wide awake, but totally groggy, eating Honey Nut Cheerios (it's the last box, I swear!) at 4:21 am. And no one has posted anything the least bit interesting on Facebook.
bah.
Mostly in between the bizarro dream sequences (or layered beneath them?) I thought about labor and having this baby girl. How weird it will be. Scary? Maybe. But I think whatever fear that comes up now is mostly fear of the unknown... like going to a new school or starting a new job. I know it will be fine, good, wonderful, etc but I have no concept of what to expect really. No book or labor prep class can ever really give you an accurate depiction of what it's like to have a human being come out from inside you. It's just.... weird. Really - when you think about it, it is. Mammals are very strange.
Then it all switches and I'm watching some bizarre scene from Beauty & the Beast, where some thugs try to steal Belle from the Beast, he saves her, and she immediately swoons and starts talking marriage and kids and the Beast freaks out like "whoa whoa - let's go one step at a time here!"
Then suddenly the Beatles are all alive and back together and are playing a private gig from some insanely rich Middle Eastern/Arabic guy who has a private train that drives right into their hotel come pick them up. They get stinking drunk and almost eat the semi-raw chicken he serves them and are laughing and reminiscing.
And scene.
WTF?
And now I'm wide awake, but totally groggy, eating Honey Nut Cheerios (it's the last box, I swear!) at 4:21 am. And no one has posted anything the least bit interesting on Facebook.
bah.
Mostly in between the bizarro dream sequences (or layered beneath them?) I thought about labor and having this baby girl. How weird it will be. Scary? Maybe. But I think whatever fear that comes up now is mostly fear of the unknown... like going to a new school or starting a new job. I know it will be fine, good, wonderful, etc but I have no concept of what to expect really. No book or labor prep class can ever really give you an accurate depiction of what it's like to have a human being come out from inside you. It's just.... weird. Really - when you think about it, it is. Mammals are very strange.
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Wide awake after a bizarro dream in which I was flying over ancient cities (Paris, Athens, Rome). As I was flying over ancient Rome I was desperately holding onto my meditation pillow in one hand and the hand-me-down My Brest Friend breastfeeding pilllow from Claudia in the other. And trying not to fall out of the sky while searching for the Vatican. I felt like all the buildings were models - not real and if I fell I'd get impaled on them. But I had to find the Vatican. Then I landed, and our tour guide (Tom from Top Chef) told me he had to go and we all had to find our way back.
I managed to end up in Toronto (?) where I I left my shoes at a subway station. First I went to the Gluten-Free Girl's house to find them, but they weren't there and everyone in their house was asleep. Then I was back to the airport with my mom, who was working as a secret agent for the TSA and her job was to flush out people by being friendly with them. So she was chatting with some lady who was also on oxygen.
Then I was going back and forth between the station and my mom's house trying to find my shoes. Everyone who rode the subway was supposed to take their shoes off, so the place above the escalator had tons of shoes, but not mine. But then I looked down and there were my fantastic pink and brown Pumas (that I haven't worn since month 5) on my feet!
and uh, it just occured to me that the reason I couldn't find the Vatican in ancient Rome is that it wasn't there. Silly subconscious mind...
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This has been the most. awesome. week. ever.
Seriously here's what I've done this week:
Monday - Putzed around the house, cleaned up our bedroom and HUNG the curtains (that have been just laying over a gross curtain rod for the last year and a half!), played with the kitties, got a chiropractic adjustment, went to Target (where I walked for 45 minutes), got a mani/pedi, picked up some groceries, napped.
Tuesday - Putzed around the house, went to yoga, installed the car seat, got lunch, went to the bank, napped, picked up Ben and went to our midwife appointment (where we learned we're 30% effaced and a little bit open, but Ruby needs to slide on down), went to Pasadena for a lovely dinner and to see Gesine at her reading!
Wednesday - Did some laundry, went for a good walk at the lake, then went to the pet store to stock up on kitten food, hardware store to get painting supplies, Trader Joes for a mid-week re-stock, came home and Sarah and I primed the walls in Ruby's room, then went to Brian's for a yummy dinner. (I will admit I kind of over did it on Wednesday).
Thursday - slept in until almost 9 am! Putzed around, cleaned the heck out of the kitchen, swept and tidied the living room, made the most delicious salad for lunch, napped on the couch, then putzed around some more while Sarah got started on painting, did more laundry, cleaned up the bathroom, napped a little bit more on the couch, made & enjoyed a wonderful dinner with my handsome husband in our backyard!
Today's agenda: the plumbers are coming to install the dishwasher (yayyyyyy!). I'm so excited about it that I made them brownies! Sarah's coming by to work on Ruby's mural... and I have no idea what I'll do this afternoon. Maybe go for a walk or do some yoga. Definitely a nap at some point! Always with the naps!
Here's the weekly update:
How far along? 39 Weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Lost 2 pounds. heh.
Stretch marks? Not going anywhere, but they seem to be fading? Or I'm getting used to them...
Sleep: in two hour increments. Then up for 15 - 60 minutes, then a lovely stretch of sleep from about 6 - 9 am...
Best moment this week: Painting the walls in Ruby's room!!! It's so pretty!
Movement: Lots still and now she seems to be moving on demand - how nice to have such an obediant child already!
Food cravings: Was really craving sugar for a couple days, but now I just want cold things... ice water, popsicles...
Gender: Girl.
Labor Signs: Still some B-H contractions. And we're 30% effaced. Davi checked me on Tuesday and it was NOT FUN. Tres uncomfortable and I bled - blech. Totally normal and she seemed excited that I was a little effaced, so that's good.
Belly Button in or out? In but occasionally it bulges!!!
What I miss: Ben - I'm home by myself a lot and I really miss him during the day. Can't wait until both of us are home together.
What I am looking forward to: Sleeping on my stomach again someday.
Weekly Wisdom: Ask for hep - people really want to give it.
Seriously here's what I've done this week:
Monday - Putzed around the house, cleaned up our bedroom and HUNG the curtains (that have been just laying over a gross curtain rod for the last year and a half!), played with the kitties, got a chiropractic adjustment, went to Target (where I walked for 45 minutes), got a mani/pedi, picked up some groceries, napped.
Tuesday - Putzed around the house, went to yoga, installed the car seat, got lunch, went to the bank, napped, picked up Ben and went to our midwife appointment (where we learned we're 30% effaced and a little bit open, but Ruby needs to slide on down), went to Pasadena for a lovely dinner and to see Gesine at her reading!
Wednesday - Did some laundry, went for a good walk at the lake, then went to the pet store to stock up on kitten food, hardware store to get painting supplies, Trader Joes for a mid-week re-stock, came home and Sarah and I primed the walls in Ruby's room, then went to Brian's for a yummy dinner. (I will admit I kind of over did it on Wednesday).
Thursday - slept in until almost 9 am! Putzed around, cleaned the heck out of the kitchen, swept and tidied the living room, made the most delicious salad for lunch, napped on the couch, then putzed around some more while Sarah got started on painting, did more laundry, cleaned up the bathroom, napped a little bit more on the couch, made & enjoyed a wonderful dinner with my handsome husband in our backyard!
Today's agenda: the plumbers are coming to install the dishwasher (yayyyyyy!). I'm so excited about it that I made them brownies! Sarah's coming by to work on Ruby's mural... and I have no idea what I'll do this afternoon. Maybe go for a walk or do some yoga. Definitely a nap at some point! Always with the naps!
Here's the weekly update:
How far along? 39 Weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Lost 2 pounds. heh.
Stretch marks? Not going anywhere, but they seem to be fading? Or I'm getting used to them...
Sleep: in two hour increments. Then up for 15 - 60 minutes, then a lovely stretch of sleep from about 6 - 9 am...
Best moment this week: Painting the walls in Ruby's room!!! It's so pretty!
Movement: Lots still and now she seems to be moving on demand - how nice to have such an obediant child already!
Food cravings: Was really craving sugar for a couple days, but now I just want cold things... ice water, popsicles...
Gender: Girl.
Labor Signs: Still some B-H contractions. And we're 30% effaced. Davi checked me on Tuesday and it was NOT FUN. Tres uncomfortable and I bled - blech. Totally normal and she seemed excited that I was a little effaced, so that's good.
Belly Button in or out? In but occasionally it bulges!!!
What I miss: Ben - I'm home by myself a lot and I really miss him during the day. Can't wait until both of us are home together.
What I am looking forward to: Sleeping on my stomach again someday.
Weekly Wisdom: Ask for hep - people really want to give it.
It's my first official day on leave. It kind of feels like vacation! I slept in... until 7:10, which is sleeping when you've been getting up at 4:30 for the last two weeks! I'm slowly making a list of things I'd like to get done today (walk, chiro appointment, Target, sweep the house, nap) and am loving that it's cool, gray and foggy out.
Mostly though I feel like I'm in a dream-state. I don't have any real responsibilities, aside from getting myself to the chiro appointment. All weekend I've felt completely relaxed and free - Ruby could arrive at any minute and that's fine. She could not show up for two more weeks and that's fine too. The house might be spotless when she arrives. Or it might not. And that's fine. It's like I'm floating through life, totally content with this slower pace and not freaking out at all (seriously) about anything that might or might not get done. At this point it really doesn't matter. It's like the best vacation ever. Because at the end of this "vacation" I get a baby!
I've been reading a lot about post-partum care - not for Ruby, which I think we'll figure out - but for me. I've been practicing slowing down, letting Ajax or other people do things for me, because that has not typically been my strong suit. Only child syndrom - I'm very "I CAN DO IT MYSELF" and don't really like to a) ask for help or b) take orders. But in the last couple weeks my sweet husband who never gets mad, started to get frustrated because I'm insisting on carrying this or that or doing something that I know I can do. Finally he said "Will you please start acting like you're 38 weeks pregnant? And let me do that for you."
And I had a little ah-ha! moment. Oh yeahhh... I'm 38 weeks pregnant, 39 weeks tomorrow. I'm supposed to be slowing down. Taking it easy. Resting. Resting to have the strength and endurance to go through labor. And also it's good practice after Ruby is born because I'm not supposed to be doing much for a month or so afterwards either. So I need to relax and let other people do stuff for me now. It definitely rankles me. I don't like it - I feel selfish and helpless all at the same time which just ends up pissing me off. But if it means that I'll have a healthier baby and be healthier myself in the long run so I can be an even better mom, then I'll get over myself. But gah - it ain't easy.
Mostly though I feel like I'm in a dream-state. I don't have any real responsibilities, aside from getting myself to the chiro appointment. All weekend I've felt completely relaxed and free - Ruby could arrive at any minute and that's fine. She could not show up for two more weeks and that's fine too. The house might be spotless when she arrives. Or it might not. And that's fine. It's like I'm floating through life, totally content with this slower pace and not freaking out at all (seriously) about anything that might or might not get done. At this point it really doesn't matter. It's like the best vacation ever. Because at the end of this "vacation" I get a baby!
I've been reading a lot about post-partum care - not for Ruby, which I think we'll figure out - but for me. I've been practicing slowing down, letting Ajax or other people do things for me, because that has not typically been my strong suit. Only child syndrom - I'm very "I CAN DO IT MYSELF" and don't really like to a) ask for help or b) take orders. But in the last couple weeks my sweet husband who never gets mad, started to get frustrated because I'm insisting on carrying this or that or doing something that I know I can do. Finally he said "Will you please start acting like you're 38 weeks pregnant? And let me do that for you."
And I had a little ah-ha! moment. Oh yeahhh... I'm 38 weeks pregnant, 39 weeks tomorrow. I'm supposed to be slowing down. Taking it easy. Resting. Resting to have the strength and endurance to go through labor. And also it's good practice after Ruby is born because I'm not supposed to be doing much for a month or so afterwards either. So I need to relax and let other people do stuff for me now. It definitely rankles me. I don't like it - I feel selfish and helpless all at the same time which just ends up pissing me off. But if it means that I'll have a healthier baby and be healthier myself in the long run so I can be an even better mom, then I'll get over myself. But gah - it ain't easy.
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Wow. It's dark at this time of morning. And when Ajax doesn't get up with me it's a little too quiet. Just me and the cats and a million thoughts:
Will we get the baby's room done in time?
What will labor feel like? Will I know I'm in labor? How will I know?
We've got to get the car seat in the car. But I need to get the car washed first.
How will co-sleeping work? What will it feel like to breastfeed? Will the cats be okay with not getting as much attention for a little while?
Gotta call Jerry about the dishwasher again. And remind Ajax that we need to put primer on the walls. Why does everything we need to do have a million steps that has to be done beforehand? Why are we moving so slowly? Will Ruby stay in long enough for us to get it all done? I need to sweep. I need to mop. I gotta clean out the windows. And clean the glass.
I think I have an idea of how our lives are about to change but I know deep down I have no fucking clue. But if one more person tells me that I will hit them.
I hope the Giants will their series against the Dodgers... when did I become a baseball fan?
Will Ajax cook us food if I'm breastfeeding? When do I start pumping so he can share the feeding? I gotta order the pump.
I need to finish the thank you notes. I need stamps. We have to send that package to Gracie.
Crap I gotta figure out if I'm eligible for family leave pay from the state.
Will I ever figure out how to fold our stroller?
I need to stop with the cheerios already.
Will we get the baby's room done in time?
What will labor feel like? Will I know I'm in labor? How will I know?
We've got to get the car seat in the car. But I need to get the car washed first.
How will co-sleeping work? What will it feel like to breastfeed? Will the cats be okay with not getting as much attention for a little while?
Gotta call Jerry about the dishwasher again. And remind Ajax that we need to put primer on the walls. Why does everything we need to do have a million steps that has to be done beforehand? Why are we moving so slowly? Will Ruby stay in long enough for us to get it all done? I need to sweep. I need to mop. I gotta clean out the windows. And clean the glass.
I think I have an idea of how our lives are about to change but I know deep down I have no fucking clue. But if one more person tells me that I will hit them.
I hope the Giants will their series against the Dodgers... when did I become a baseball fan?
Will Ajax cook us food if I'm breastfeeding? When do I start pumping so he can share the feeding? I gotta order the pump.
I need to finish the thank you notes. I need stamps. We have to send that package to Gracie.
Crap I gotta figure out if I'm eligible for family leave pay from the state.
Will I ever figure out how to fold our stroller?
I need to stop with the cheerios already.
Today I didn't have to be anywhere until 12:30... so of course I was wide awake at 4:30 am! Got up, played with kittens, made breakfast for my hard-working handsome hunk of a husband because I'm sweet like that, had some breakfast myself... futzed around on Facebook... And then went back to bed at 6:15 am for the world's. greatest. nap. ever. Seriously - I slept so well in those 2.5 hours it was like I was a new non-pregnant person when I woke up!
And I decided to tackle the bathroom... ugh. We moved a lot of crap I was sure we needed, but didn't. We had a lot of old medicines, random bits of ugly jewelry, and ancient hand lotions and bath salts that got tossed out today. YAY! Now the towels are all neat and tidy, the first aid stuff is all in one bin, my make up and other stuff is consolidated from 4 drawers and a few small bins to ONE DRAWER! We actually have a drawer for Ruby now! It was almost as much fun as doing the kitchen cabinets.
Tomorrow Brett comes to consult with us on the ceiling and give us some pointers on what to do next (or possibly find time in his insane schedule to actually do it - fingers crossed...) Next week Jerry comes to do the dishwasher... oh yes. The dishwasher. That we'd almost forgotten about... Just in the nick of time!
But tonight we're having dinner - I succumbed to the craving above and it's in the oven. And we're watching the Giants/sweeping & mopping the baby's room... not sure how "we" are going to do that since I'm not allowed in the baby's room with all the dust... But once it's done I can definitely help put stuff back in there (neater) so that I can figure out crucial information like how many diapers we have (a metric ton) and where the furniture will go... Also means we'll get our dining room back, which will be nice.
Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm pretty much elated, thrilled, over-joyed, excited. Don't really think I'll be too sad, since I will be back. Mentally I was ready to be done 2 weeks ago. And I feel like I've gotten everything pretty well lined up... just one loose end which I will foist off to Gurushabd and that's that. Tomorrow my to do list is:
And I decided to tackle the bathroom... ugh. We moved a lot of crap I was sure we needed, but didn't. We had a lot of old medicines, random bits of ugly jewelry, and ancient hand lotions and bath salts that got tossed out today. YAY! Now the towels are all neat and tidy, the first aid stuff is all in one bin, my make up and other stuff is consolidated from 4 drawers and a few small bins to ONE DRAWER! We actually have a drawer for Ruby now! It was almost as much fun as doing the kitchen cabinets.
Tomorrow Brett comes to consult with us on the ceiling and give us some pointers on what to do next (or possibly find time in his insane schedule to actually do it - fingers crossed...) Next week Jerry comes to do the dishwasher... oh yes. The dishwasher. That we'd almost forgotten about... Just in the nick of time!
But tonight we're having dinner - I succumbed to the craving above and it's in the oven. And we're watching the Giants/sweeping & mopping the baby's room... not sure how "we" are going to do that since I'm not allowed in the baby's room with all the dust... But once it's done I can definitely help put stuff back in there (neater) so that I can figure out crucial information like how many diapers we have (a metric ton) and where the furniture will go... Also means we'll get our dining room back, which will be nice.
Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm pretty much elated, thrilled, over-joyed, excited. Don't really think I'll be too sad, since I will be back. Mentally I was ready to be done 2 weeks ago. And I feel like I've gotten everything pretty well lined up... just one loose end which I will foist off to Gurushabd and that's that. Tomorrow my to do list is:
- Clean out email inbox
- Change voicemail
- Turn on "out of office" notification.
- Go home and don't think about work for 3 months.
It's hard to believe that cute little face is soon going to be peeking out of my body!! And bringing the rest of her wiggly self with her!Dang. She's so cute. It's going to be hard to put her down for anything.
I mean, seriously. Look at those cute little lips!
And those fingers. Just resting under her chin, already she's a model.
In other news the ceiling in the nursery is officially scraped clean of popcorn... only to find that the ceiling is, as predicted, crap. So we need to hustle now and get Brett to get out here and get wainscotting or beadboard or something up. Ajax suggested fabric. I immediately had nightmarish visions of fire... *shudder* So yeah - obvioulsy no on the fabric, though aesthetically it might look cool.
Meanwhile ALL and I mean ALL of the contents of the nursery are currently in our dining room. Le big sigh. I need to get one more under bed box for various linens that are taking up valuable drawer space... Then Ruby will get the big brown dresser. Plus a little tiny dresser. I'm itching to get in there and get it all put away - mostly so I know what we have and we still need....
I'm totally stealing this from someone else's blog (the818.com - great read!) I wish I'd been doing this all along... ugh. Oh well.
How far along? 38 Weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Not thinking about it at all. Can't. Too upsetting.
Stretch marks? Many and deep. Weird. The ones on my tummy don't bother me near as much as the ones on my hips.
Sleep: bwahh haa haa haa haa! Sleep? Are you serious? *wipes tears of laughter away*
Best moment this week: Getting the ceiling scraped and getting the sketch for the nursery. Yes we are cutting it close...
Movement: Lots of rolls and stretches with the occasional roundhouse kick to the ribs if someone is hungry and someone else is feeling too lazy/big to get out of bed/off the couch to get food.
Food cravings: Lamb. Bizarre. Have not succumbed. Yet. (Trying to get pictures of cute little lambs out of my brain)
Gender: Girl.
Labor Signs: Some Braxton Hicks - they feel like the most mild of cramps. I have to stop and think "oh hey - that was a BH contraction" because it just feels like day 4 of my period.
Belly Button in or out? In. Sometimes flat and sometimes way in. It's weird.
What I miss: My energy - I get tired really easily.
What I am looking forward to: The experience of labor, how it will deepen my relationship with Ajax and with myself.
Weekly Wisdom: Arch supports are my friends.
But since I know you, my loyal reader (s??), really just want to gaze at the cuteness and perfection that is Ruby - here are a few more gems:
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Today is my first "real" day of having my morning off... Monday was a holiday, Tuesday morning was filled with doctor's appointments (we found a pediatrician - yay!) and yesterday I worked in the morning because I had an afternoon midwife appointment. So today I'm blissfully washing dishes, doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom... Honestly blissfully! I like being home. I'm also somewhat trapped here waiting for the AT&T rep to come install our landline, but at least I've been productive so far. Considering it's only 9:15!
I'm definitely in some sort of "me" zone. Yesterday I put the car in reverse instead of drive and promptly backed into the neighbor's car. Car's fine (mine and theirs), baby is fine... I'm a little sore, but I was a little sore before, so that's nothing new. Just a reminder to slow down even more and pay attention to what I'm doing! Yesterday afternoon I was in Whole Foods and had that same "me" zone experience... I wandered around for 15 minutes before I remembered I was there for two things: ghee and tea tree oil.
What's new and different is that I like being in this zone. It's really "me and baby" zone. I feel connected to her and all I really want to do is rub my tummy and talk to her all day.
Yesterday (that's now the third sentence I've started with that word), I ran into Eaglewoman. Eaglewoman and Ruby have a very sweet friendship - Ruby has been visiting with her for a few years now (YEARS!). When she first showed up she told Eaglewoman she was waiting for her mommy. She's a patient girl. At our 120th Day ceremony an angel brought Ruby's soul down to me while I was in Eaglewoman's healing hands. And yesterday Eaglewoman told me that Ruby was visiting with her and showing her a spider-web type grid - her life grid. I don't know much about grids, except that apparently we all have one... like a life-path. Anyway, she was showing Eaglewoman different colored ribbons and yarns, saying "this one goes here, this one goes here."
What's remarkable about this (you know, aside from my astral-projecting daughter visiting a shaman descended from Geronimo on a regular basis... cause that's just normal, right?) is that I have a little project for Ruby's room that could indeed look a little like a spider-web and uses different colored ribbons and yarns. Cool huh? :) Not even born yet and already making with the symbolism.
Oh and Ruby digs the Clash.
She's one rad kid.
I'm definitely in some sort of "me" zone. Yesterday I put the car in reverse instead of drive and promptly backed into the neighbor's car. Car's fine (mine and theirs), baby is fine... I'm a little sore, but I was a little sore before, so that's nothing new. Just a reminder to slow down even more and pay attention to what I'm doing! Yesterday afternoon I was in Whole Foods and had that same "me" zone experience... I wandered around for 15 minutes before I remembered I was there for two things: ghee and tea tree oil.
What's new and different is that I like being in this zone. It's really "me and baby" zone. I feel connected to her and all I really want to do is rub my tummy and talk to her all day.
Yesterday (that's now the third sentence I've started with that word), I ran into Eaglewoman. Eaglewoman and Ruby have a very sweet friendship - Ruby has been visiting with her for a few years now (YEARS!). When she first showed up she told Eaglewoman she was waiting for her mommy. She's a patient girl. At our 120th Day ceremony an angel brought Ruby's soul down to me while I was in Eaglewoman's healing hands. And yesterday Eaglewoman told me that Ruby was visiting with her and showing her a spider-web type grid - her life grid. I don't know much about grids, except that apparently we all have one... like a life-path. Anyway, she was showing Eaglewoman different colored ribbons and yarns, saying "this one goes here, this one goes here."
What's remarkable about this (you know, aside from my astral-projecting daughter visiting a shaman descended from Geronimo on a regular basis... cause that's just normal, right?) is that I have a little project for Ruby's room that could indeed look a little like a spider-web and uses different colored ribbons and yarns. Cool huh? :) Not even born yet and already making with the symbolism.
Oh and Ruby digs the Clash.
She's one rad kid.