Gratitude

Dear life,

Thank you for being so wonderful. We have the cutest little cottage on a hill overlooking the Hollywood sign and Griffith Park (please grow back fast btw). I have a husband who is sweet and true and funny and great in bed. I have a family who is for the most part healthy and doing well and friends across the globe who I adore. My cats are adorable, lovey and playful. My job is great - challenging, rewarding and interesting. Tonight I got to make a delicious dinner and enjoy it by candlelight with said husband and cats (who sat at the two empty chairs, cuties that they are).

I am so filled with gratitude and happiness, I almost don't know what to do with myself.

I really didn't know life could be this amazing. I always hoped, but wow. I am so very very blessed.

Sighing with joy,
Whimsy

This is a letter I posted in IndieBride tonight. And it's all so true. I love my life. I love my sweet husband and my great family and my funny cats and my cute house and my fun job. I wake up sometimes and just can't believe my luck. A baby will make it even sweeter... soon. Someday. We're talking openly about it. We've made plans. We have a timeline. We're almost there.

In the TMI department I am currently, this very day, ovulating. I've never been as aware of it as I was yesterday. I got an email from a friend that she's 3 1/2 months along with her second. I taught my Mommy & Me class, filled with adorable crawling babies and one of my two favorite moms and kids came - Morgan and Jude. And Morgan is also 3 1/2 months pregnant. It was the first time I was really completely aware of my "ticking clock" I hate that phrase, btw.

About 6 weeks ago I went to the doctor for a yeast infection (I thought - turned out to be the complete opposite: vulva somethingorother, which seems just like a yeast infection but is made 100 times worse by anything you'd do for a yeast infection - AGGHHH!).... anyway. I saw the "new girl" a new nurse practioner - not Dr. Feder or my dear Karin (pron Karinne), midwife and also nurse practioner and also the only person I'd consider NOT having a homebirth for... just so I could go to her birthcenter (I love her THAT much!). Anyway - this new person (annoyingly named Karen, so confusing) let one of those bombs drop. One of those bombs you never ever want to hear when you are over 35 (okay over 37) on the verge of conceiving, but "have a plan" as we do... She said "Don't wait."

Fuck off lady. I would go for it TODAY if I didn't know that it isn't the best time for our family. But we do "have a plan." That plan involves waiting until May to start trying for a myriad of reasons: I can get in a few more months of RISE seminars (at $2K a pop, it's nothing to sneeze at); we can go to Europe when it's not absolutely icey and frigid... those are the reasons. So we'll wait.

The next 5 ovulation cycles will undoutcdbly be frustrating and a little sad for me - so I will use them to be grateful and joyful and happy for my amazing life. And know that each month brings us closer to an even more amazing and beautiful life.